Awareness

So, the last 2 days were spent watching waay too much 24 (try all of season 3). If you haven't seen it, 24 is one of the most unbelievable (both in the "I can't actually believe this would happen to one group of people in on 24 hour span" and the "I cannot believe some of the ridiculously incredible and diabolical things that Jack Bauer and his gang get into" meanings of the word) shows on television today. For 5 seasons I have held off, mostly because GI meets on Mondays and it just doesn't fit into the schedule. But this summer I finally decided I would join the 24 revolution and use the time between June and January to get caught up before season 6. Of course little did I know that I would watch season's 1 & 2 in the span of about 72 hours and then season 3 in the span of about 48 hours a month later (more on the idea of obsessions later :))

As I emerged from my 24-haze to the daylight of the real world, however, I have realized how much shows like that can teach you if you are looking for teaching moments. Because every episode of 24 is one hour within the scope of a full 24-hour day to be played out over the course of the season you can see how much life plays off itself. You see how a small decision made at 7:10 am can totally affect a larger situation that occurs at 3:15 pm. You see, by watching 24, how magnified our seemingly mundane decisions can be in life - if we take the time to fully process them.

Take yesterday as a prime example for this - hence the inspiration for my post. I left my Thursday Bible study at 2:00 pm on campus and was forced with a decision of what to do. I had some good study and work to get done before my 6:30 dinner date w/the Abrahamsons and the Yamauchis. I was tired. I was feeling that urge to be 'lazy.' I was feeling a dose of apathy. Then came the spiritual battle. My mind thought of all these 'other things' I could be doing - surfing the internet, checking up on the Braves, putting shelves up in the house - things that in of themselves were not bad, but did not meet the immediate pressing need to get work done before 6. So I'm literally sitting in my car driving around having an internal discussion with myself that went something like this -

"If I go home I'm doomed. I'll either watch tv, surf the net or do some house chores that can wait. Damnit, I need to get out of the mode of retreating to home in these moments and fighting through them. I'll go to Barnes & Noble. Great. But now I'm quasi-deflated about my decisions, so I'll be tempted to buy a vanilla latte (a 'comfort food' which currently doesn't fit with my budget or diet goals) and read other books (and probably buy more that I don't need). So what the heck should I do? Come on Dave, fight it, fight it, do whats right here....."

So I am literally getting frustrated as hell at this point. And thus is the kind of thing that happens to me on days like Thursday, or during the school year - days like Monday or Friday afternoon, when I don't have appointments tieing me one place.

I felt like Jack Bauer standing looking up with camera angle spinning around him, trying to figure out what to do next (except without the weight of national security and crazy terrorists hanging over my head). This time, though, I made some critical decisons:

1. I am always going to have days like that if I always retreat to the comfortable.
2. Godliness does not involve retreat (as in surrender) into the world.
3. I need to remember to always follow the '2 masters':

• My master schedule that I create each week that lays out the priority items in my work and when they need to get done by. It's created with flexibility in mind, but in times of crisis like this I should always do what the schedule says.
• Above all else, God is my heavenly master. He has the divine plan for my life and desires for me to walk in that. Is what I'm about to do at reflective of a plan that God could have for my life.

So I went to Barnes & Noble with a fortified resolve, and despite the demons within me yelling at me to check out the new books, read a magazine, look at the music or take a nap, focused for the next several hours on the task at hand.

Awareness, when we take time to be aware, can be a really frustrating thing. I wanted to kick scream cuss, and give up all at the same time. But awareness, when addressed in the context of where God is moving us is a beautiful thing.

Take some time in the next week to truly try to be more self aware in a situation than you normally are. Look at how the actions of 8:10 am affect the situation at 3:15 pm - and maybe we'll all have a greater idea of what the heck God is up to in our lives.