Not So Religious

It's Time....

2007-02-15T07:43:00.000-05:00

If you don't know, every year I get to direct this thing called Greek Conference where more than 300 folks from the southeast and myriad random places up and down the eastern seaboard gather to learn more about who God is and how he impact their Greek experience.

I'll be blogging from there this weekend, but at http://greekconference.blogspot.com/ not here. So if interested, check out the site!

Cats...

2007-02-07T02:47:00.000-05:00

A year and a half ago Kim and I had a dilemma. We wanted a change. Kids were not an option, I had done a great job of killing off my fish, so we had one last resort - actual pets. We discussed a dog - but couldn't agree on the type. I wanted some sort of beagle or small dog of the sorts - Kim wanted what I describe as a 'punting dog' one of those suckers that yaps so much you want to kick its butt across the lawn.

So we settled on cats. I had cats growing up and we managed to find one at the shelter that we thought was kind of like a dog. A month later we had two cats.

We have had 2 cats for going on 18 months now. They are such interesting things. All along we wanted a dog. In actuality we got 2 semi-dogs. 2 semi-humans. 2 semi-amazing pictures of dependency, need, sin and grace.

Both Kim and I are laptop people. Well we were. Or kind of are. I think that Sabby & Emma have chewed through no less than 5 Dell powercords in 18 months. Lucky for me we have a dealer up the street or I'd be in real trouble. Our light cords downstairs look like brail and it's a wonder that one of them hasn't been electrocuted. We made the mistake of leaving them without a friend checking on them for 3 days and one of them (most likely Sabby) left about 5 craps on the living room floor. We had to have them declawed (by the way an extremely harmless and beneficial move) because they just couldn't help tearing up our furniture or kneading it to death.

When they are truly awake and in their prime they are pyscho. They chase each other up and down the stairs, bite one another, jump on the counters, lay on top of the cabinets and get in every area they are not supposed to. The water bottle becomes our best friend - especially on a long Saturday or a lazy Sunday when we just spray the crap out of them to stop them from doing things that are destructive to themselves and our livelihood.

In short - they are very much sinful animals. But they care deeply about their masters.

Sebastian and Emma are great. Very not like what you'd expect out of cats. You snap your fingers and Sabby will run up and rub against you. Anytime there is even a semi open lap - Emma will jump on it, remote, magazine or laptop be damned. They are extremely friendly, but also take care of each other. Sebastian will clean Emma and likewise. They are great pets to have.

They are loyal. When I hit the garage door on the way home - inevitably one and usually both will be waiting by the door. When we go to bed at night, inevitably less than 5 minutes after we are done talking Sebastian will jump on the bed, do a full walk around the bed to make sure everything is ok, and then retire to the floor. Emma meanwhile sleeps at Kims feet - and we can only guess how many times she kicks her off at night (as an aside - these 'cats' are so loyal that if if i get up to work or write or surf in the middle of the night, guess who is sitting on the desk next to me - Sabby). When I wake up in the morning the bound down the stairs even though the food is already out for them. They are ridiculously loyal. AND they are CATS for crying out loud.

As I write this at 3:00 in the morning, Sabby has taken where my laptop usually is on my desk (it's on my lap) and has fallen asleep in front of me. As I pet him he responds with affection and love. When I get up to walk to the bedroom he'll follow me and when the alarm goes off at 6:45 even if i don't want to get up, Emma will be there to wake me up and Sabby will be ready to bound down those steps as I go after the coffee.

Oh that we might have a similar relationship with our master. That we might be that complicit in our sin but also so thankful in our grace and so obedient in our regular activities.

Did I mention that I'm actually allergic to cats?

politics, a funny thing....

2007-02-07T02:17:00.000-05:00

So I admit that among my addictions to ESPN, 24, Lost and Studio 60 I also love, love love MSNBC and it's people. Because of that I am a Newsweek subscriber and because of that I spend more time than I should following essentially inconsequential political news as I gear up for the '08 election.

Of course this comes as no surprise but I have long thought myself a Republican. I love Bush. Respect his faith and his character. He had me at hello - to steal a line from my wifes favorite movie - when he said:

When I act, you will know my reasons. And when I speak, you will know my heart.
I believe in tolerance, not in spite of my faith, but because of it.
I believe in a God who calls us not to judge our neighbors but to love them.
I believe in grace because I've seen it, and peace because I've felt it, and forgiveness because I've needed it.
I believe true leadership is a process of addition, not an act of division.

Whether he lived those words as president I guess is for you to decide, but he certainly drew me in and has given me no reason to doubt his faith-led presidency ever since (well the war had me slightly questioning, but only slightly and that's a whole other topic that would take at least 3 comments for me to respond).

Whatever, the point of the post is this. Howard Fineman, who I love, in said article basically puts the Presidency frontrunners into 3 categories - the charismatics, the front-runners and the base-wooers. Very interesting.

Most interesting is the fact that the very 2 candidates I most see myself voting for in my first ever actual presidential election (yeah, i suppose you actually have to become a citizen before you can vote) both fall into the 'charismatics' category.

Long a self-proclaimed Republican - I honestly have no idea how I'd vote between Guliani and Obama were I faced with that decision. Both are men of faith. Both have significant shortfalls in the midst of their faith and belief yet both are honest about it. The 'platforms' seem to carry less weight than ever. I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that Hillary is a psycho, Edwards a fake, McCain unstable and Romney a very misled Mormon. That leaves me 2 guys that I can support. 2 differing parties - two when you get down to it - very similar views.

It's gonna be a helluva next 18 months. Do your modern Christians stick to the ranks or do they change course. What is the 'christian' mandate in the election. Plenty of "post-moderns" are quick to defend the liberal mindset - will they vote for Billary - I mean Hillary? Will the "moderns" vote for whatever the Republican party puts up there regardless of personal preference - or will they go with the young, charismatic, honest and real Obama? Will the Dems of faith go for the golden child - Edwards - or will they pull for Obama? Given the worse case scenario - will Christian republicans actually vote for the very Mormon Romney? Will Democratic Christians rally around slightly crazy Clinton?

Very interesting to think about. I think we are truly - as Newsweek reported 2 years ago - living in the purple. But how will the Evangelicals respond to that? It'll be interesting to see. Especially for me since the 2 guys I can see myself voting for the most - might be the farthest apart.

Travel, Tiredness & Tax Collectors...

2007-01-31T15:48:00.000-05:00

So the weekend was as expected - long, encouraging, yet tiring.

For the uninformed - I spent Thursday, Friday and Sunday at Roanoke College and Washington & Lee meeting with key leaders, speaking with Greek students and talking at their respective large group events. It's interesting to consult with other schools on what the most effective Greek strategy is because schools are soo different than what I like to deem the frattieness of Carolina and Indiana. Not to say it's a bad different - it's just different. So that was interesting, encouraging, and draining at the same time.

In between Kim and I got to check out some Virginia wineries - 3 around Charlottesville and one near Lexington. Despite what you may have heard Virginia really does have some great wines and wineries. My favorite winery from the trip was the Rockbridge Winery near Lex - good down to earth folks, with some great wines - especially the Meritage and the Cab Franc. The house red was pretty great as well. The best wine was near Charlottesville at the King Family Winery. We snagged an '05 Meritage that we plan to age 5 years and enjoy on our 10th anniversary. The question is whether or not I can let a bottle of wine sit on the shelf for 5 years (although we do have a bottle from our honeymoon cruise that has been sitting there for almost 5, although it is a white).

Anyway - o the tax collectores.

The topc I was asked to speak about at Roanoke and W&L was that of our posture in prayer and in the community around us. I spoke from Luke 19 - the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. It's amazing to me how any Pharisees are alive and well in our Christian sub-culture today, even though Jesus spent many a New Testament word warning against them.

In the parable the Pharisee is thanking God that he's not like the guy next to him, or like other folks who do bad stuff. Sound like people you know? Folks who are happy to be in the holy huddle and have no space for those who are not. Great model of evangelism, by the way.

The 2nd character is a tax collector - a dude who probably has ripped the livelihood out of a lot of peoples hands. His prayer is simple - "Forgive me - a sinful man."

Jesus' response is classic:

"the tax man, not the other went home made right with God. If you walk around with your nose in the air, you’re going to fall flat on your face, but if you’re content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself."

What a statement and what a call. But do we really make space for tax collectors in our lives? And are we really in a place to live out those words of the tax collector? Are we willing to admit that we need that forgiveness too?

I've been extremely lucky to be surrounded by tax collectors all my life - both repentant tax collectors like this guy, and just straight up tax collectors. I've also been lucky and unlucky to live on both extremes of this story - on the side that thanks God I'm not like that guy, but also on the side that is doing all the stupid stuff that the Pharisee just mocks.

I'm encouraged to know that Jesus' heart is in the middle, though - in the righteousness and wisdom-seeking of the Pharisee, but in the humilty, honesty and repentance of the tax-collector. Because that sure is a freeing place to be.

Encouraging....

2007-01-25T11:37:00.000-05:00

So I randomly decided to check the stats today and noticed that indeed folks are checking out and reading this blog. Thanks for the encouragement. It is with that knowledge and edification that I promise to put forth a greater effort to sharing my thoughts and updating the other randomness of this site...............starting Monday.

Unfortunately I'm about to run out the door to Virginia for the weekend. Hopefully I will be able to meet some Greek students at Roanoke College & Washington & Lee, challenge some undergrad students on whether they are the Pharisee who thanks God he's not like the others, or the tax collector who is just thankful to be anywhere close to God. That's a good post for another day unto itself. In between I will be joined by my wife and we will attempt to soberly navigate the central Virginia wine country.

Sounds like a doozy! Check back for more early next week (or Friday if I find time in my day).

Adulthood...

2007-01-18T01:00:00.000-05:00

If you haven't been there yet, or if you're there and just refuse to live there - being an adult is tough. In fact, it borderline sucks. Especially if you are caught in between those near impossible years of being a post-college grad and a parent.

Do you go for the money? What do you go for the money for? Is it for good things? Selfish things? Is God behind it or does he really (as some would have you believe) have some master plan that you're either in full-time ministry or continuing the human lifecycle.

It's a tough world out there folks.

The last few weeks have been tough. Kim has been wrestling with what a "post-buyout by a 40,000 employee company" looks like to a rising star in a compay of 60, I have struggled to balance my campus passions with my overall Greek ministry passions with my business-planning-success passions. It's just been tough. Who gives what and what gives where?

But at the heart of it God lives. And I think that Kim and I discovered tonight that at the heart of strife and at the heart of conflicht - Jesus is there.

Why? Because what Jesus and what God are truly looking for are fighters. Not what the typical Christian church has put out enmasse over the last 15 years - conformists or at least cultural comformists - but fighters.

I believe that the Christ wants a person who will fight for his faith. Who will struggle like hell for his faith, but ultimately will fight for that.

What does that look like? a great question....Probably why Dave Matthews in his famous (at leat to me) but not necesarily theoligically accurate song "The Christmas Song" (if you want to hear go to www.greekimpact.net/christmas.htm "drinkers and smokers, all soul searchers like you and me".

Whether Dave believes or doesn't he hits at the heart of the matter - all soul searchers. Are we searching for our souls and for Christs souls for us - or are we just drifting?

Personally - I've drifted for too long. And it ends now. Sure ministry can be good, life can be good, business can be good. But what about your soul? How is your soul doing today? Because all those things can provide you a good, or even great facade, but it's your sould that will ultimately be layed bare - maybe not till heaven - maybe tomorrow.

So what are you living for?

That is a questionn that I will be asking myself and students I talk to this semester both at Chapel Hill and across the region. More on that later.......

But what are you living for?

lalaland vs. LALALand

2006-12-12T00:23:00.000-05:00

They're not all that different, you know, and it's not necessarily a good thing.

Definitions:
lalaland - The world that I think many traditional conservative rightwing Christians like to live. Nothing is wrong, we live in a bubble, life is good. We give to the church because it's the only thing worth giving to. Our church as great programs, a really nice looking building and a well-paid pastor. But no real life change actually happens.

LALALand - The world of the celebrity. Bucu bucks are made here. Millions, billions even. But yet, even with the tax credits and the many financial benefits, we'd rather spend our cash on yachts, cars and thousands of acres of land in the Hamptons or Aspen. Lots of money gained - not much impact happening in the future.

It's interesting how I came across this observation/rant/whatever it turns into. A friend and I were watching VH1's "A Fabulous Life" and looking at some of America's biggest spenders. Did you know that Howard Stern spent $660,000 for a one month rental in the Hamptons because he didn't want to wait for the house to be built on the land THAT HE PAID $20 million FOR? That's just the land? So we are watching this in somewhat awe, and I asked my friend how he'd spend his money if we were that loaded. Would we give it away? Would we spend it all? How would we do it? (It sure would take the 'ole charity golf tournament as a tithe to a whole new level).

So my friend busts out a 20/20 episode from TIVO that recently aired on ABC. It was a Stossel report on how the rich give away their cash.

Did you know the following?

Of the top 25 states where people give an above average percent of their income, 24 were red states in the last presidential election (in the face of those who say that liberals are all about charity).
Conservatives give on average 30% more AND make less money than their liberal counterparts.
people at the lower end of the income scale give almost 30 percent more of their income than their wealthy counterparts.
the single biggest predictor of whether someone will be charitable is their religious participation.

Ok great, finally something to latch onto - the final bullet point. BUT how about this. I looked up Business Week's list of the top 50 philanthropists in America. They gave away tons of cash - but guess how many of them listed 'religious organizations' in their top charities? ONE, count 'em one -Jewish causes

In fact in 2004 there were 3 'religous causes listed' 1: Jewish causes 2: Jewish causes 3:Israeli charities.

Nowadays folks are focused on things such as Science "about life's big questions", Individual self-empowerment and athletics.

Not kidding. Of the top 50 giving philanthropists in America, who have earned from between 48 billion and 75 million dollars, NONE of them have given to overt Christian causes.

No obviously as someone who raises a budget to do a Christian work for a living - this leaves me a little preturbed. But what really leaves me preturbed is the end result of my conversation with my friend.

As we were watching the 20/20 episode I mentioned to him "you know it's people like you and me that really make a difference. The majority of my support comes from folks that give less than $100 to the ministry, but do it in multiple places." So we are feeling good about ourselves, then this from 20/20 -

"...while the rich do give more in overall dollars, according to the Social Capital Community Benchmark Survey, people at the lower end of the income scale give almost 30 percent more of their income....middle-income Americans are generous compared to people in other countries, compared to the rich and the working poor, they give less. "The two most generous groups in America are the rich and the working poor," says Brooks. "The middle class give the least."

Ouch. The middle class - those of us with perhaps the greatest capacity to enact change in our socieity - give the least. Now hopefully we give of our time and energies more than our money, but the fact remains....we are not a very giving culture. Of course I don't think a bit about this everytime I have a hankering for a venti non-fat vanilla latte at Starbucks - 4 bucks which sits well in my stomach on in my soul for about 15 minutes, but could last a lifetime in the harlem slums or the streets of zimbabwe.

So what is the point of all this? I don't know really. Maybe to create a healthy discussion about what the heck we are doing. Maybe to facilitate change among readers. Maybe just to engage in healthy banter about what is ok and what isn't ok in the grand scheme of giving - since really the giving statistics don't cover it all do they? Afterall, if my wife and I truly desire to have a great house with a pool in the backyard so our kids can have over their friends who's parent's can't necessarily provide that for them - isn't that at it's core charity - even though it will never show up in the 'boxscore' so to speak.

And who really cares - afterall isn't God the ultimate judge of things like this? Aren't we storing up crowns in heaven - not here afterall? So while the rest of the world ponders what Bill & Melinda will do with the $40 billion that Warren gave them to change the world, I hope we wonder what God will do with what little we give to Him and how we can best use that.

The Amazingness of Common Sense

2006-11-02T23:20:00.000-05:00

Not sure that's a word - but it is now. If the prez can do it so can I.

For years, I've heard (and taught) that if you give time to God, he gives back to you. Pretty simple concept really:

It's biblical (we are taught to give our 'firstfruits' both in terms of money and resources, but also time).
It just makes sense.

If God is the God of all, and if God is the God that knows your comings and your goings and knows you inside out - doesn't it make sense that giving time to him, your first fruits (aka whenever you are most 'on') makes the most.....sense? If we are stressed to the max, have a boatload going on or are just overwhelmed, doesn't it make sense that the One who promises to calm the storm, who tells us he won't give us anymore than we can handle, who parted a friggin sea - MIGHT be able to help us out a little?

Yeah, it really does, doesn't it!

This week I got two rather large, although really small, glimpses of that in action. Monday's are typically my craziest days. Talk to write, admin to do, Monday night to prepare for. I always feel like it's just work work work, and I'm frazzled by the time 7:30 rolls around and I'm supposed to be 'on' for our meeting. This Monday I decided to do something that I never do, but should do regularly. I took a half day of 'retreat' - aka I jumped in the new Acura and cruised down to Jordan lake (about a 25 minute drive), then spent the next 2.5-3 hours walking the trails, sitting by the lake, praying, reading from Daniel; just being with God. As I drove home at about 12:30, I had such a sense of peace, a sense that God met me there, and a sense that He was actually doing stuff in my life. That night I delivered a talk from rote memory (for the first time), and really felt calm and present with Him the whole time, instead of focused on performance.

Then on Tuesday my afternoon randomly/divinely opened up. It was 75 degrees, Kim was out of town so I could do my administration that night, I decided to golf - because who wouldn't gove on Oct. 31st if it was 75 degrees? I'd never golfed alone before, and know how frustrated I can get sometimes, but really wanted to do so. So I did something that really is a testament to God's using the World to reveal Himself to us, not just stodgy meetings or typical 'religious ways.' I decided to pray for a different fraternity or sorority during each hole on the course. So over the course of the next 3 hours I did 4 things that rarely happen (unfortunately) in my life:

I prayed for basically 3 consecutive hours.
I took time out of 'work' to pray for the Greek system, regardless of their involvement with 'my' ministry.
I played a (mostly) calm and collected round of golf (I played through a foursome quickly and sliced a couple woods, leading to a 'shit' comment, then an immediate question as to how that fit into my prayer time).
I integrated faith and life in a very cool, freeing and life-giving way.

And the amazing thing about all of this is - that none of it is brain surgery. It all makes basic common sense. You give to God, God gives back to you, and in abundance sometimes. It was amazing how refreshed I felt in conversations, in administration, in my homelife, in my personal decisions - as a direct result of giving to Him first.

Martin Luther (he of that whole Reformation thing) once noted that had "so much to do (today) that I should spend the first three hours in prayer." And he was noted for doing so reguarly. Oh that we could give even a third of Luthers charge, or 4% of our day to spending with Him (and that I had remembered this on Wednesday and Thursday :))

It's Been A While.....

2006-10-31T08:18:00.000-05:00

As the lyrics to the 'Staind' song that reflects this subject title rattle around in my head, I'll apolgize for taking SO long to post something. But here are some quick thoughts post (well really post now) Catalyst.

1) I Wanna Go Back - Not with a tin cup chalice (although Buffet was onto something there), but to Catalyst. What a great experience. I've been listening to the messages over and over in the car and am still moved by some of the greatest leadership and faith-trained minds in America. Just like any conference, though, it's hard to come back 'changed' and stay changed. I'm working on it, though.

2) The older you get the quicker the months go by. Where did the month go? I've asked my self that every month since June. I can see now why OBanion liked high school girls so much in 'Dazed and Confused' (ok, slightly off-topic an inappropriate, but I thought it, so....) - because it's easier, you don't have to develop as a person. This quickening of the months is really pushing me to prioritize differently so that I appreciate the months, not just see them in a haze of fast-paced action.

3) Stop - I stopped for 3 hours on Monday and it was great. 'Retreats' have always been tough for my ADD, workaholic, performance-motivated mind but I managed a good 2.5-3 hours of no e-mail or communication w/the outside world at Jordan Lake. It was great to walk in nature and pray and just be silent. I am a firm believer that doing this regularly (Jesus often did it), would be a core spiritual discipline for each of us to master as we strive to become less 'religious' and more 'godly'. However, I rarely do it. Here's to the next time - may it be soo much sooner.

4) Hope - I double dipped at Carolina & Duke last night for both Greek IMPACTs. Intro'd a spiritual training series at Carolina (that I thought was rather funny, dunno what the students thought), then busted up to Duke - running a red light along the way - and spoke to their much smaller chapter about becoming an Acts 2 fellowship of believers. I saw great hope in the eyes of those 9 students who have basically been 'hanging on' since losing 2 full-time staff and a bunch of good seniors. I really believe that hope is first found in Jesus, but best experienced in community, so I'm optimistic that a new sense of community and oneness will be found at a school that is so often disconnected and individualistic in mentality.

As an aside - I have GREAT hope that my beloved Hoosier football team (who I have loved through thick and thin for years now) MIGHT actually qualify for a bowl this weekend.
For those of you who don't know how monumental that would be - the last time IU went to a bowl game 12-year-olds weren't born yet, the Carolina Panthers were just an expansion dream, Frank Zappa was still (barely) alive, Groundhog Day was the IT movie and Whitney Houston was the hot singer. MAN IT'S BEEN A WHILE!

Ok, nothing deep or profound today - just wanted to get back in the saddle.

Catalyzing...

2006-10-06T11:07:00.000-04:00

The Catalyst crew helped overcome the typical post-lunch dip with a series of interviews in session 3. Cultural research guru George Barna spoke about where the church and faith are headed and how they will help define the culture of the coming generations. He talked about the revolution that is among us that focuses on deepness and not necessarily bigness (both in ministry growth and leadership development).

The next interview could possibly have been the most raw, unscripted and passionate ministry ever witnessed at Catalyst. Andy Stanley got the chance to ask, in front of 10,000 leaders, the questions that he has asked of, and learned from his mentor – John Maxwell – over the years. It was just an amazing period of realness as Andy was giddy to hear from John and the two really invited us into what looked like a meeting among friends over coffee. John talked a lot about developing your leadership and focusing on improving your strengths verses improving your weaknesses – specifically in relation to the things that are innate to our being verses ‘choices’ we make in life. If we innately bad at singing, for example (ie we area 1 or 2 on a 10-point scale), we could take all the lessons, theory and coaching in the world, but we wouldn’t improve more than a half a point. So why bother when there are other parts of who we are that if given the right amount of time and energy could grow from good to great and dynamic in no time. He talked about the equality of time and how this generation feels the push to give equally to all, and how unbiblical that leadership theory is. He provided a great illustration of Jesus and his time w/the the disciples – how he spent some time with the masses, a deeper time with the twelve and an even deeper and more intentional time with Jim, John and Pete. We should do this with our best leaders. The best way to find great leaders, he said, is to find potentially great leaders and develop them. And allow those leaders to lead out of their greatest areas of giftedness because that’s where you’ll see the most growth.

Although it was only a 30 minute interview it was so packed with truth and information that I have only scratched the surface above. John and Andy concluded the time with one of the more passionate and emotion-filled exchanges I have ever seen on stage in front of an audience. John was moved to tears as he talked about dreaming about Catalyst 10 years ago and how they never imagined that one day 10,000 next generation leaders would gather to hear about how to be better leaders in ministry. He reflected on Bill Bright coming and sharing wisdom from years of ministry and how John was now that older sage charged to reflect and encourage the masses.

And finally he (and by extension the 10,000 of us) were moved to near weeping as he reflected on the morality of a leader. People who fall morally, he said, fall for 3 reasons:

NO accountability
Not continually in the word of God
Never thought it would happen to them

He talked about being asked to speak on Spiritual Purity at the first ever PromiseKeepers outside of Colorado in the 90’s and how the six months he had to prepare for that time was the most difficult six months ever – because he realized that he fell directly into category 3 of why leaders fail – he never thought it would happen to him. In those six months of preparation he said he was attacked spiritually in the area of purity so much he didn’t think he could deliver the message. He was so afraid of remaining spiritually pure that he didn’t go anywhere or do anything alone in those months. In those months, though, he found prayer and accountability partners like never before and they helped fight the spiritual battle and still today remain critical lynchpins in his life. He said that he stood backstage at that Promise Keepers event, about to speak to 72,000 people, and all God said to him was ‘well done son. I have Delivered you.”

Wow – the raw emotion of one of the greatest leaders the church and the business world know was so compelling. I mean this is John Maxwell sharing on levels that a guy o fhis stature doesn’t have to. You’ve really gotta see or hear it to truly appreciate it.

The day ended with a session from Gary Haugen from International Justice Mission talking about Gods heart for the world. He spoke in great detail about the slave trade and prostitution that is prevalent in Asia and the work of God to redeem folks in the midst of that. We talked about what Catalyst is doing about Africa and the 38 wells that are being built in Rwanda because of our giving last year. It was evident in that time that although this conference is primarily for leadership development – we haven’t lost track of those things that are truly important – the soul and heart of a leader and the soul and heartbeat of the world.

Day one of the Conference is in the books, and as my colleague Ray said last night – it’s already well worth every dollar. Day 2 includes Donald Miller twice, Louie Giglio and the Creative Katalyst of Nike, so it should be an amazing time.

Catalyst Part 1

2006-10-05T21:06:00.000-04:00

Reflections on Session 1 of Catalyst....

Andy Stanley – pastor of a large church in Atlanta – opened the Conference with a great message on leadership from Daniel 4. He reminded us that “The Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men, and he gives them to anyone he wishes.” And because of that we must remember several key things. First that leadership is stewardship and is temporary. Ultimately we are stewarding something that God is doing that will long outlast us. Because of that we are always accountable in our leadership – to him, not to man. And if we lead, we must lead with:

Diligence - God has specifically called and put you where you are then you need to get up every morning and lead w/every diligence you can find because you are there ON PURPOSE.
Fearlessness – If God is sovereign, who shall we fear? We are not working for men. We are accountable to men, but we don’t work for them or need there approval.
Humility - This should be our hallmark. Why aren’t Christians known for their humility, for their ‘level 5 leadership’? There is no room for an ounce of spiritual arrogance in spiritual leadership

Interesting how God continues to expound on this approval of God vs. approval of man idea and how we shouldn’t feel feel any pressure or stress if we are walking in the ways of the Lord.

In typical Catalyst fashion, the Marcus Buckingham introduction was all out crazy. Plenty of references to Marcus’ house in England (where he’s from) – Buckingham Palace, a Beatles ‘worship’ medley, a parade of British flags and the Royal mounted guard (of some sort – more like the knights of the roundtable) and a question as to why the British anthem is “God Save the Queen” (Is she not saved?). Buckingham, if you don’t know, is a great cutting edge developer of management. He has written 3 books – First Break All the Rules, Now Disover Your Strengths, and The One Thing You Need To Know.

This was the first time I have ever heard Marcus and all I can say is – wow. This is a sharp guy who truly understands culture, organizations and developing managers. He focused mainly on his idea of developing strengths not focusing on weaknesses. He was saddened that more Americans are actually focused on fixing their weaknesses today than they were 6 years ago when his book first came out (41% in 200, 36% now focus on improving their strengths over fixing their weaknesses).

"Very few of us," he concludes, "actually spend the majority of our time doing those things that bring the best out in us." I am very lucky that I feel like I'm in the 2 out of 10 people who are doing this on a consistent basis.

He had an incredibly real and vulnerable segment on managers, and how he wasn't a good manager even though he's a heckuva consultant on mangement. The one thing you need to know about great managers, he notes is that they “find out what is unique about each person and capitalize on it.”

I could go on for hours about Buckingham, but it’s best left to his books. I will leave with this illustration of the differences between the myth of developing your strengths verses in your own life and in the context of teams and managers verses the truths:

	3 myths	3 truths
As you grow...	your personality changes	You become more and more who you are
You grow the most	In your weakness areas	In your areas of greatest strength
What the team needs is	For you to ‘chip in’	For you to volunteer your strengths most of the time

People Pleasing & Other Randomness...

2006-10-05T02:34:00.000-04:00

Catalyst Labs are in the books. Below are some random notes from that experience as well as other oddities of life.

1) Iiits baack. Yes, I have 25 more gray hairs and am slightly more insane than before, but the Dellie is back w/its caring owner a mere 25 days after sending to Memphis (apparently via India). Check back to see how the return of the Dell affects my peace, serenity and lack of need to be 'connected.'

2) The ATL has long been described as my favorite big city that I've spent significant time in. It's value is dropping this week, however, as I have wasted about 2:45 minutes of my life essentially driving in circles in the last day and a half. Turns out every other street is named Peachtree (I knew this), most of them change names 2-4 times and change directions (some even go in circles). I was not expecting Atlanta to be basically a more confusing version of the Triangle, but there you go.

3) It's 2:30 in the morning and I have spent the last 35 minutes trying to figure out where the damn water leak is coming from in my hotel room (a 2 bedroom Residence Inn suite). Turns out it's my colleage Ray's noise maker in the living room. Great, glad I have those 35 minutes back! Guess that's why he's on the pullout!

Now too the good stuff........

Had an interesting conversation with a great friend who is in his first year of mergers & acquisitions for a large bank on Tuesday. It pulled together a lot of what i've been thinking lately and was furthered by some Catalytic comments during today's Labs. We were discussing this idea of being people pleasers and how many people in his profession are so and have had great success in college because of this. When you get to the dog-eat-dog m&a world of finance, though, you quickly find out your people pleasing desires are challenged. Because you could do your absolute best to please the people around and above you - and still be no better than a marginal analyst.

My friend was very quickly learning in his raw 5 months out of school that we cannot count on the affirmation of others to determine our success. 100 hour weeks full of no compliments only backlash when you screw up has driven him to prayer and humilty like never before - he is quickly learning that our best chance at peace lies in giving it all you have and leaving it at the feet of Jesus: nothing more, nothing less.

Oh that we wouldn't have to work in a pressure cooker like that to realize this truth for ourselves. It's a problem that is increasingly common in our culture today and one that really takes good growth to emerge on the other side of.

I wonder, often, if too many good people, good ministries, and good intentions are missed because people are too overly reliant on the approval of man instead of just laying it all on the table and leaving it before God?

I have begun to see that perhaps I am beginning to fully understand this in my own life - in large part due to this blog. Over the last 4 or 5 days I've had several people (ok, like 4) tell me that they really enjoy reading this and that it encourages them in their daily faith walks. In times past this would serve to bring me great pride and joy that people actually approved of and appreciated what I am thinking. In other times it would utterly unfaze me in the opposite sense - the "I don't care about you so why do you care about us" sense.
But it's amazing how you find Jesus in the middle of these extremes - that the comments were nice and appreciated, but they don't MAKE this blog any more or less successful. Because, honestly, I'm not doing it for you, but for God. And perhaps for myself as well, as a means to get out what I'm thinking without succumbing to the traditional Christian torture we call 'journaling.'

I think this exercise is a microcosm of where God is moving me. I no longer need the approval of man in my ministry, in what I'm thinking or dreaming about, or in my social interactions. Sure that is nice, but it's no longer necessary. Because I'm moving to a place that as Craig Groeschel describes in his book Chazown, is defined by deo pnuema - or a compelling of fresh air by the Spirit. I'm beginning to fully understand what it means that Jesus is a lamp unto our feet - that he doesn't give us the full picture, just enough to get us the next couple steps. And if we're not seeking the approval of man but God, then we must be OK with this because if he truly is for us, then who, really, can be against us?

I'm sure all of this will make much more sense at a later point in time, as I am realizing that 3am is no time to be posting clear and lucid thoughts. So perhaps I'll revisit at another point, and maybe strike the clarity that hit me about 5 times over the head in the last 24 hours as I listened to my friend in Charlotte, a couple different Christian leaders in the car ride to Atlanta, and the encouraging words of leaders like Groeschel, Rick McKinley & Eugene Peterson at Catalyst.

But for now I should rest. Check back for more insights into Catalyst over the next few days. Our hotel serves free full-service breakfast, dinner, wine and beer - so at the least we'll be well nourished physically as we are mentally and spiritually. Although, if the wine and beer are being served with breakfast things could get interesting.....

Better Days...

2006-09-29T09:03:00.000-04:00

For our first Greek IMPACT of the semester I put together a preview video of what to expect this semester. It was something that was clearly perculating somewhere in the back of my mind because when it came to me (obviously not until late the Wednesday before our first Monday) it came with a flurry. What didn't come, though, was the song. What song would perfectly fit the vision of where we want to go this semester?

Now you would thing this would be an easy question, except for 2 caveats - I am so committed to making everything we do in GI be both Scripturally sound (as in Jesus-based) and culturally relevant (also Jesus-based). So that automatically disqualified about 100 80's, Mellencamp, and contemporary Christian songs that might have fit. The other great problem that arose was my increasing unfamiliarity with what 'cool' music is nowadays.

But then it came to me - a fresh song from one of my all-time favorites. And thus - Better Days by the Goo Goo Dolls became the song. Of course, God in his abundant preparation had been planting this song on my heart for about 4 months, but despite my many Google searches and minutes spent flipping through the music selector at Barnes & Noble - I could never figure out what in the heck the song was that ended 'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.'

God is good, and it all came together in just about 8 short hours on a Saturday morning. So why do I share this story? Good question.

Because truly this entry is not about the song, or even about the video (although it is online at www.greekimpact.net if you care to see it!). No, this entry is about these words, and immediately how they impact the next 7 days of my life.

And you ask me what I want this year. And I'll try to make this kind and clear. Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

I can't tell you how easy it is to get caught up in the 'business' of life, of ministry, of relationships, and forget to think about what I really want for them.

I see the next 7 days as critical in my life and ministry development.

This weekend more than 35 Carolina Greeks will head to Wrightsville Beach for Greek Getaway. We've never had more than like 23 so the logistics of the travel, the 5 beachhouses and all that go with it could be enough to obsess over for weeks. But what do I want from the weekend: I want students to have an experience with Jesus at the beach - away from the social & academic pressures of Chapel Hill - that will propel them in their faith development this semester. I want it to be unlike any retreat they have ever been on because they were met by Jesus in the midst of their rest - not because they inhaled more information.

And next week I get to do the one non-campus-ministry-related thing that I do each year - go to the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta. 10,000 'next generation leaders' hearing from some of the greatest Christian minds in our modern society (Stanley, Maxwell, Giglio, Stott, Buckingham, Peterson - to name a few). Sure I'll pull some great ministry tidbits from these ministry giants - but what I truly want from that time is for my soul to be nourished and fed by the music, the community and work of God in my heart as I step back from campus and life and sit in his presence in the Atlanta Gwinett Center.

So what do I want this year - or more specifically this week? I want that we would all experience the refreshing presence of Jesus anew, or maybe even for the first time.....

Growth

2006-09-26T17:05:00.000-04:00

This may be a little too 'administirial' for my reflections, but it's what I was thinking today, so....

It dawned on me after Greek IMPACT last night why so many churches, small groups, youth groups and college ministries struggle with growth. Why so many of them DON'T grow, and are content with remaining the same size they've always been. For the first time this year at GI - I don't know a good number of the folks that are coming in our door every week. We are regularly seeing between 45-60 folks at our meetings this year and with a good number of them being freshmen and sophomores it's just hard to do.

It's wierd, though, walking around 'your' meeting for 'your' organization and not knowing your audience (perhaps part of our problem is indeed that we think its 'ours'...). In fact, I can see how it would be intimidating and unfulfilling for people at times. Afterall, if we are honest with ourselves, isn't there something deep inside us (or right at the surface for many I fear) that wants to have a 'Cheers'-type ministry" "where everybody knows your name. And you're always glad you came"? At the heart of it, isn't this the problem?

Now some would say this is not a problem. Of course you want to be somewhere were everyone knows everyone and we all feel comfortable and challenged by one another. Of course I'd love it if Dave and Dusty and Kristen and Cassie and the other 10 or so seniors who graduated could come back and I could feel comfortable having a bunch of people I know and love around to affirm me and challenge me and love me.

BUT I think this is where we go seriously wrong. This is where we miss the gospel all together. And, I believe, this is where we kill the idea of religion or faith for anyone on the outside who would have any desire to see what God is up to.

It's like we live in the Acts 2:42-46:

They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of break and to prayer....All the believers were together and had everything in common....Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together....

But we forget to read Acts 2:47:

And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

We love the idea of the disciples and how close they were to each other, but we forget about the thousands that they in turn led and spent time with.

We love the fact that Jesus tells us in the Great Commission that he is 'with you always,' but forget that he first told us to 'go into the world and preach the good news.'

In order to truly understand and live the gospel, I believe that our ministry groups, our small groups, our friendship groups and our churches HAVE to grow. We HAVE to be ok with growth, in fact I'd go as far as to say we are abusing the grace and the community God has given us if we DON'T play an active role in growing those places of our lives.
-----
Ok, off the soap box for today. Got the laptop back today - but they didn't bother to fix it at all. So it's going back to Dell (shocking) for actual repair this time. At least they knocked a hundred bucks off the thing.....

Serenity, etc...

2006-09-20T18:36:00.000-04:00

So I did it again. I have somehow now managed to break my laptop twice in the span of 3 months after having gone 9 months without damaging this one, 3 years for the one prior and 2 years for my 1st one. What it is about my beloved Dell I shall never know, but hopefully once it returns to me from the soon-to-be-$500-richer-Dell Depot with a new LCD and a new motherboard I shall have no more problems. Little tip for those of you doting around with leather bags - treat the leather. My leather strap snapped 2 weeks ago thus sending my bag and my laptop plummeting to the brick floor of the UNC pit. And no for all you neo-nazi's out there - a Mac couldn't withstand that punishment either!

Anyway - the point to this random diatribe is indeed the subject of the day - serenity. It's amazing the added peace I have found while sans laptop. For the last 10 days now I have been soley reliant on my Treo, my pad of paper and whatever files I remembered to copy to my flash drive to get me through the day. As a result I have spent less time on the Web and more time getting done what is immediately in front of me. There is a certain serenity in a return to the days where we didn't NEED to be in the know all the time. I actually go several days now without knowing if the Braves won a game or not (they haven't). It takes me a day or so to know whether my fantasy teams are winning or not (they aren't). I have seemingly lost control of the news intake, fantasy player selection, instant e-mail respondage, and other things that used to compete (and typically win) for my thoughts and attention in my non-meeting time.

I wonder if perhaps that wonderful guy named God - all knowing - might have had something to do with this? I wonder if perhaps there isn't a joy in serenity. A joy in not knowing what is going on all the time, and being ok with that. A joy in reading a book printed on paper, reading the newspaper, talking on the telephone - those things that are so easy to neglect in our wired culture.

I wonder if I didn't have to lose my laptop to recover a part of myself that had been sorely missing.

At our Greek IMPACT meeting on Monday I defined LOST as it relates to faith and also to general culture. I proposed 9 definitions that dictionary.com listed for the word 'lost' and asked students to place themselves in one of them. Initially I placed myself squarely in definition 3 - having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc - because I LOVE to get lost and then find my way out. Or at least I did as a kid (another one of those things that if I actually took the time to get in a position where I could lose myself in the wildernes I might actually enjoy it).

Upon further reflection, however, a more accurate portrayl of where I often find myself might have been definition #8 - preoccupied; rapt - as that hits right at the heart of every obsessive, overindulgent, workaholic tendancy that often prevades my life.

So perhaps this time of serenity - of relative peace without the Dellie - will teach me a little something about moving out of the lostness of preoccupation to a place that appreciates the moment and appreciates finding or recovering those places in life that information overload often pushes out.

What are the places in your life that you have lost the serenity that you used to cherish? Where are the areas that you have lost yourself and need the bigger work of the Lord to help you recover?

Impulse...

2006-09-11T12:51:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile (if anyone reads this), I'm sorry!

As I was hanging out in the Indianapolis airport two weeks ago waiting for a flight that was inevitably delayed an hour, I came across the most interesting impulse buy perhaps EVER. Now I admit, I'm a sucker for the impulse buy -my senior year of college I spent my tax refund check 3 different times before it ever came, one of those times an impulsive purchase of a $300 palm pilot back in the early days of palm piloting. I often get suckered into the soda or the candy bar in the checkout line, and let me loose anywhere near a bookstore and impulse damage is sure to ensue.

But as I strolled through the Northwest terminal I came across the most fascinating vending machine ever. Not only can you now buy stamps, sodas, snickers and other sundry items in a vending machine, but at least in the Indy airport you can stop off and buy an IPOD.

I kid you not, right there on the concourse in a vending machine you could choose between the IPOD video, IPOD mini, IPOD nano and a variety of IPOD accessories, all for the impulse price of anwhere between $19.99 and $599.

As I stood there and checked out this fascinating site, I wondered who in their right mind would buy an IPOD out of a vending machine. As I continued to ponder this, however, I realized that in fact I given the right financial circumstances (ie not being married to a wife obsessed with lowering some college consumer debt the size of Ghana's GDP) would gladly put my Discover Card into said vending machine and get on my flight with a brand new IPOD nano. Shoot, for another $12 or so I could even charge it up at one of the many fee-based charging stations that airports now have. (And thus is the attitude that allowed me to accumulate a Ghana-esque tab while in college)

This whole line of thought really got me thinking about this idea of impulse, though.

Why do we spend so much of our lives living and acting on impulse? Why do I get temporarily 'down' and impulsively spend $4.36 on a venti vanilla latte - like that will somehow perk me back up again? Why do I impulsively spend $25 on a new spy thriller when were I a little more patient I could check it out of the UNC library for free?

Why don't these same impulses drive our relationship with the one constant in our life - Jesus?

In fact, if you're anything like me, you often find that these very impulses overtake that one relationship that we should be cultivating the most. I wake up in the morning, knowing that I want (and need) to spend time with the Lord. But impulsively I jump on the laptop to see if I got any 'must read' e-mails. An hour later I have read and replied to e-mails, impulsively checked ESPN, MSNBC, Scout.com and myriad other sites, and now I'm running late so I don't have time to spend with the Lord. I'd do it later, but some other impulsive thing comes up - like porch time with the friends, a tv show that we want to watch (because we can't DVR it and watch it later), or more e-mails that 'must' be responded to.

Oh that we would find a way to live life to the FULL, while also not always living our life purely out of our impulses. People think that Paul of the Bible is crazy when in Romans he goes on this diatribe of:

"what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do......Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
(Romans 7:15-21)

You know what I think he is - NORMAL, just like you and I as we battle what we know we should do with the everday impulses that pop into our lives. Or at least I hope so!

So my goal this week is to reign in the impulses a little bit. The laptop is back in the shop (screen broke this time - oh the agony of it all), Kim is out of town for 48 hours, and I have so much work to do that I can barely see over it. Sounds like a great week to stick to a schedule doesn't it? Also sounds like a great week for the devil of impulsiveness to totally mess it all up!

On Purpose

2006-08-24T17:14:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago a guy who attends a UNC Bible Study with me on Thursday afternoons on campus died of a blod clot. He was in his late 70s and had been expecting it for a while, but it still shook up the men of the study who had known and worked with Jessie for years in the Chapel Hill community. As the group gathered today for the first time since his funeral, it was great to hear stories of how Jesse had lived on purpose. He worked for years in this community in hardware and was one of those guys who knew everyone and was known by everyone. Everything he did he did with purpose and passion, whether it be dominating the golf course still in his 70s or being committed to his family or bringing men to this weekly Bible study.

As folks were reflecting, one man recounted how just 2 weeks ago he and another had the chance to really talk to Jesse at Bible study for the first time - to hear his story his experiences. Todd reflected that God had put he and the other gentleman next to Jesse at that time so that they could learn from this great man in his final days.

It struck me how much we do is done 'on purpose'.' Often times we like to think that we determine that purpose, but times like that allow you to see just how much purpose God guides that purpose for us.

As someone who loves history, tradition, and being around people who have both - it was great to get to know Jesse a little in the few short weeks I had the chance to talk to him. It's great to see people who give so much to one community over one period of time as they are able to see those purposes play out over generations. There is little doubt that Chapel Hill will miss Jesse, but there is no doubt that God's purposes for His life were not played out.

As our Bible study leader Danny led us in Scripture today he talked about being a servant leader, and how many are called to lead for God's kingdom, but sadly few do. He talked about how the 'harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.'

Are you living On Purpose today?

Danny closed our time by talking about a friend of his, former basketball great Pete Maravich, who accepted Christ with only three years left in his life. In those three years he did some dynamic things for the Lord - truly living on purpose. He always recounted, though, that throughout all of the fame and fortune basketball brought him people would talk to him about his investments, what cars to buy, what things to do - but no one ever told him about the peace, hope and joy that Jesus Christ offered.

Are we willing to sit on the sidelines while potential kingdom builders like Pistol Pete are able to walk through life without knowing true life, or will we live our lives On Purpose, and invite others to do the same?

Thoughts...

2006-08-22T10:02:00.000-04:00

Some random thoughts as I spend hour 2 sitting in a line waiting to reserve a room for Greek IMPACT for NEXT semester (seriously, why is campus space this critical on a campus this large?):

Intense Determination - I confess, I haven't been the biggest Tiger Woods fan over the years. He kind of goes against my anti-popularity movement as everyone loves Tiger. Plus I've always been a big Phil Mickleson fan and you can't love Lefty and Tiger both, it's almost like liking both Duke & Carolina, IU & Purdue, anyone & the Yankees, etc. But this weekend may have changed my mind. If you watched the PGA Championship @ Medinah you probably witnessed one of the greatest individual feats in the history of solo sport. Tiger just dominated the last 2 days in a way that we should all hope to dominate in our own work settings. He was intense in his determination, his grit and his focus. He was a picture of what I wish our walks of faith looked like. Tied for the lead going into the final day, he accepted nothing less than his best effort. As he pulled away from the field, 6 strokes at one point, he still didn't back off - didn't become complacent a bit. On 16 I think it was his drive went arwy, ending his chances of a majors record 20-under-par. Tiger wasn't focused on personal glory, however, just a solid victory in the task at hand and hit two solid recovery shots to maintain his lead. You had to watch it to truly appreciate the mentality that Tiger used to channel everything he had into his game. A bad shot was a forgotten shot. A solid shot was celebrated and then moved past. His focus was so determined. Oh that we could display that same focus in our jobs, our ministries, our hobbies.

Buzz - Andy Stanley, a pastor in Atlanta, talks about creating 'buzz' as a great way to establish and maintain momentum - in a job, a ministry, a life goal, etc. As I walked on Carolina's campus yesterday I realized what this 'buzz' is all about. Thousands of students running around campus, excited to see each other, glad to be back at Carolina, nervous about coming here for the first time. There was that air of excitement that a new year brings. It was a similar buzz to one that the GI leaders demonstrated at our vision team retreat 2 weekends ago. Our leaders had such an excitement for this new season of GI. The planning was excellent, the community-building fruitful and the free time tons of fun. I truly felt the Lord was in the place that we were and that His hand was over our time together. The prayer now, of course, is maintaining the momentum we created that weekend while students basically go into 2 long and hectic weeks of rush.

Wild - The church that Kim and I have been checking out continues to totally jive with my ever-developing theology and faith life. The pastor talked about how we were basically 'born to be wild,' untamed and free in our fath. He talked about how often the church gives us a different picture of God's hopes for us - that we'd be domesticated, docile and ho hum or that we'd become freaky televangelists. He used the examples of Jesus' use of children as models for how we are to live a life of humilty, teachibility and dependibilty. Children are wild, untamed, and follow God in the simplest way possible (for more on this - check out Erwin McManus' book The Barbarian Way). THANK YOU Dr. Kelly for saying what we've been talking about in GI for years. "The glory of God is man fully alive," said St. Iraneaus in the early days, and it should be as relevant today as it was back then.

This got me thinking - all three phrases I used today - Intense Determination, Buzz and Wild - at some point have been rejected by people of faith around me as illegitamate postures for a true Christ follower to pursue. If this has happened to me, I wonder how many folks around us (especially in the south) have been turned off from the faith, or better yet domesticated, because they think they cannot pursue their passions in the name of Jesus. If Jesus did indeed "come so that you may have life and have it to the full," (John 10:10), shouldn't these words be at the forefront of how we live and act out our faith on a daily basis?

Lost

2006-08-10T15:28:00.000-04:00

Our God works in mysterious ways. Two months ago He gave me a vision of what our GI Monday Nights would be based upon in the Fall when my friend, colleague and former student Dusty threw out the idea of 'Lost' based on the hit tv show that many students watch. It seemed to have great potential and fit our audience well, so I decided to run with it. There were periods when I doubted it would be a good fit - most of my vision team knows little about the show and I was having a real hard time coming up with content.

Then this week, it all came together. And it's amazing how God often teaches you that the very things you spend all your time searching for are often right there in front of you.

It started with a Scripture search of the word 'lost' (thanks to gospelcom.net). Lots of references, few of them helpful. That was followed by a search of song lyrics containing the word 'lost'. Also largely helpless, although it did lead to some very interesting (mostly rap and really bad folk), intriguing yet dated (Cindi Lauper, Sting) and possible (Switchfoot, Ben Harper, Coldplay) song results.

But it still wasn't clicking.

Then it started to fall into place. It began with an internal urge late on a Friday night for one of my favorite songs - Coldplay's "Swallowed by the Sea." After listening to the words for a good 45 minutes, the vision was beginning to form. And, believe it or not, it came from the exact place I left our GI Monday nights at the end of last semester:

Are the streets you're walking on, a thousand houses long? Well that's where I belong, and you belong with me, not swallowed by the sea.

Wow, I'm not sure if Chris Martin was trying to hit the gospel on the head, but he did it in my mind.

Then on Sunday morning, the final piece fell into place. Kim and i went to a new church - New Hope - for the first time, ironically on their first day in a new building. The pastor was talking about 'Signs' and how they clog and mess with our minds. He talked about our need for clarity and how we are lost without the grace and hope that the Lord offers. He shaped his talk around Luke 15 - the prodigal son, probably my favorite and most taught part of Scripture.

We are all on a journey and the deeper we go into that journey, the more hopelessly lost we become without Christ as our guide.....

Reboot

2006-08-07T10:46:00.000-04:00

After nearly three weeks of frustration, my laptop finally arrived back to my office on Saturday afternoon (well, actually I had to go pick it up from DHL, but at that point I was more than happy to doso). Turns out that if you spill beer on your computer and it messes with your motherboard the warranty doesn’t so much apply. Shocking, I know, but it was worth a shot. I think that as retribution for my idiocy, Dell decided to ‘forget’ to mail my computer back for almost a week (they actually admitted to that after about 15 redirected phone calls).

At any rate it is back and is, for the moment, booting and rebooting just fine. And even if it doesn’t I’m just ok with that for now, because at least I have it back.

I wonder if God feels the same way about us sometimes? How often do we do something stupid, or just mess up without really realizing it, and then go ‘on the fritz’ for a while? Often times we are ashamed to keep trying with God, other times we just go through periods of not caring. So we, in a sense, go into this blackout phase with God where he just isn’t visible or apparent in our lives. Sometimes this can look like willful and wanton neglect and rebellion, other times it can just be spiritual indifference – often I think it’s somewhere in the middle.

As I drove home from church on Sunday morning, wondering how in the heck it was August and where July went, I realized that I had basically spent a month in this blackout phase. Yeah there were some good quiet times, I read some good books and had some good spiritual conversations, but for the most part I floated through July in some sort of opaque oblivion to what was going on immediately around me or was in my immediate future.

But like my laptop, when I consciously returned over the last week, it has been refreshing to find that God doesn’t care how we reboot, as long as we do reboot. Who knows, maybe some time in the wilderness is a good thing – afterall it worked pretty well for Jesus, David, Moses and others. But I tell you what, it definitely feels better to be back fully in God’s presence, even if it takes a little longer than usual to get booted up in the morning sometimes.

I’ll be in meetings all this week. It’ll be a stark contrast and, really, an opportunity to learn more about myself. If you know me at all, you know that I like to say that I ‘hate meetings.’ Just hate ‘em. Hate going to them, hate paying attention, hate sitting down for so long, hate talking about ‘how I feel,’ etc, etc. But at the same time that I am not looking forward to my staff meetings, I am so looking forward to my leadership meeting at the beach at the end of the week. Stay tuned for an interesting psychological study that I’m sure will reveal some level of selfishness, control and engagement issues for me.

Pressing on to be Godly, without being so religious…..

Growth....

2006-07-31T10:16:00.000-04:00

"Sometimes....there are stops on the road of our spiritual walks with God. There are stops to minister and to be ministered unto by others. There is rest or struggle. Sometimes we wait for direction, instruction, or provision. The goal of very stop on the way to Zion prepares us for the next step in the journey. In your spiritual walk is growth the goal of every stop?"

As someone who should be famous for his use of 'my time,' there could not have been any more convicting, or true, words for me to read this morning. As I finish up my time in Ken Ulmers book, it's interesting to see how God continues to shape our mindset, our heart and our worldview day by day. It's amazing how things that can seem so elementary and routine to some, can take years for others to get. It's crazy how some days, or some minutes, we can completely have something of God figured out, only to be totally lost the next.

It's kind of embarassing to admit, but until today, I always had a hard time answering the above question with a 'yes.'

In your spiritual walk is growth the goal of every stop?

I guess the problem with the question lies in the semantics of the question. Up until a few years ago I would have had no problem answering this question with a yes. When I did spiritual things it was only with the intent to grow. The breakdown, however, occurs when your view of faith changes as mine did a few years ago. When you want to move from your 'religion, faith or spiritualness' being something you 'do' at certain times and places to living you faith as a way of life. When you are truly trying to live faith as a way a way of life, however, this question becomes much MUCH harder to answer in the affirmative.

Rephrased under the premise that your faith is an integrated part of your way of life (ie faith isn't something you do, faith is something you live out in ALL you do and ALL you are), the question becomes: In your life is spiritual growth the goal of every stop?

Now if you know me at all, you know that question would send of massive sirens, warning bells, prison bars, whatever. Because I rather enjoy the 'my time' as I said earlier. I like the feeling of 'entitlement' that I can take this night off of ministry or spiritual growth. That my rest is 'my time' and that I couldn't possibly grow spiritually in a time of rest.

But that's what God calls us to do. Does that mean we should give up resting, going out for drinks, watching hours of TV or sports, or 'pleasure surfing' on the Internet? No, not at all. But it does mean that we, or specifically I, need to shift my worldview of that 'pleasure time' as much as I have shifted my worldview of other aspects of my life. In those times where we feel like we are 'entitled' to indulge our invidual nature, our need for rest, our need for disengagement, our need to blow off steam after a long week - whatever it may be; God is still with us. So if God is with us and if those thigns are part of our life, and if we are living our faith as a way of life - then logically God is with us and wanting to grow us somehow even through the medium of espn.com or a night on the town. It's how WE respond to Gods leading verses our own impulses, I believe, that ultimately decide whether or not we will respond with integrity (ie, is our faith truly integrated with our life or is it not for that point in time).

Random Musings...

2006-07-26T11:00:00.000-04:00

Random thoughts from the UNC Undergrad Library as I deal with day 5 w/o the Dellie....

Why is it that humans are so completely enamored with the idea of waiting for 2 hours to be plummeted 70 feet in about 1 second while screaming there face off, only to get back in line and do it again?

I asked myself this more than once as Kim and I celebrated our anniversary (4 blissful years of matrimony this Thursday...) at Busch Gardens Europe this weekend. Yes, the Busch Gardens Europe that is actually in Williamsburg (home of all things Colonial, not exactly a hotbed of European culture), but ironically serves Barbeque in 'France.' But I digress. It's funny how things like amuesment parks and sporting events give you a snapshot of what is actually going on in the world's social fabric. Since people watching is one of my favorite things to do anyway (unlike my Dad who is just nosey, I casually observe culture around me - although Kim may disagree when she has to repeat her question to me multiple times), theme parks provide a great place to look at what you could be like, what you might be like, or even worse, what you actually are. Kim and I definitely learned a think or two about how NOT to parent children, why eating healthy and exercising is a GOOD thing for you to do, and why our future daughter will not be going out with boys until she's in college!

Direct Dave quote after 3rd consecutive trip on Apollo's Chariot: "I think I'm too smart to ride roller coasters."

Yeah, if you know me well you're not shocked that I would say something so random and concrete. Kim wasn't either, but just laughed at the notion. My point was, though, that while I love to ride the coasters, it really is hard for me to get a 'thrill' out of it - especially to the point of hurling blood curdling screams. I mean come on - we are on a ride that millions of other people have been on, that was tested and tested before it was ever comissioned, and is most definitely safer than driving a car. We are going to make a predictable sudden drop, flip around a couple times and come back safely to the station. What is so 'scary' about that?

As I thought about the comment over the course of the weekend and since coming back, though, I found another distinct theory as to the origin of my comment. And it all comes back to the single biggest issue in my (and probably many of yours) life - control. I try to 'control' the intended effect of the coaster by rationalizing why it's safe - thus losing any joy that the coaster may actually want to provide me. A roller coaster is supposed to scare you and thrill you because you are NOT in control. How disturbed is our mind, though, that we fail to experience the intended joyful (or shocking) affect of the coaster because we still want to exercise a measure of control over it?

Which leads me to what happens when we DON'T have control - fear.

Long story short. Kim and I purchased a nice expensive leather coach with some money she received from her company. Said coach is expected to arrive this week. Our little furry friends Sebastian and Emma have already reeked havoc on our nice new linen chairs and did a number on our old sofa. So today I dropped them off to have their 10 front claws surgically removed.

Talk about not being in control. As I left our cats this morning I realized 2 important things:

I actually do have a soul and emotions despite what Dusty, Kim and others seem to think sometimes. I honestly had a deep sense of sadness as I knew that our cats would be surgically altered and that there are (as w/any surgery) risks and pain involved. Man I am honestly going to have a hard time being a parent one day!
The root of a lot of that emotion, unfortunately, lies in control. Yes I was sad that our cats would be put under the knife - yes I felt the honest human emotion around that. But come on, they are cats. I realized as I got in my car that a large reason I felt sad was that I couldn't control the situation. The doc was going to do what he was going to do, and I couldn't do anything about it.

I wonder how many of us have these control issues, and how we deal with them? Probably it's something that we all deal with to a degree, we just deal with it differently. I've seen folks who are controlling by being super dogmatic, structured and disciplined - it's there life and they're going to live it this way. Come along for the ride if you want. I've seen others fall prey to control by 'not controlling.' Afterall isn't uncontrol actually a way to control your situation by acting like you are not controlled by anything while in fact you are still in control (confusing I know, but think about it).

Well that's plenty for today. We'll revisit this topic later. Now if I could just control these dang torrential downpours that we keep having, I'd be a whole lot happier (and drier)........

As Kim and I were standing in line

mother....

2006-07-21T17:00:00.000-04:00

When dealing with my laptop recently,I have certainly been tempted to utter what I can only assume many of you were led to believe by the subject. But the point of this note is not emotion attached to it, but the physical object itself - the motherboard. Therefore my beautiful handy laptop (something that has got to rank in the top 10 of my primary needs in life) has been packaged up and sent to Dell for testing

Therefore posting has been, and maybe, scarce over the next two weeks. But if you have been following this blog - don't leave me as I will try to post as I can.

Awareness

2006-07-14T08:01:00.000-04:00

So, the last 2 days were spent watching waay too much 24 (try all of season 3). If you haven't seen it, 24 is one of the most unbelievable (both in the "I can't actually believe this would happen to one group of people in on 24 hour span" and the "I cannot believe some of the ridiculously incredible and diabolical things that Jack Bauer and his gang get into" meanings of the word) shows on television today. For 5 seasons I have held off, mostly because GI meets on Mondays and it just doesn't fit into the schedule. But this summer I finally decided I would join the 24 revolution and use the time between June and January to get caught up before season 6. Of course little did I know that I would watch season's 1 & 2 in the span of about 72 hours and then season 3 in the span of about 48 hours a month later (more on the idea of obsessions later :))

As I emerged from my 24-haze to the daylight of the real world, however, I have realized how much shows like that can teach you if you are looking for teaching moments. Because every episode of 24 is one hour within the scope of a full 24-hour day to be played out over the course of the season you can see how much life plays off itself. You see how a small decision made at 7:10 am can totally affect a larger situation that occurs at 3:15 pm. You see, by watching 24, how magnified our seemingly mundane decisions can be in life - if we take the time to fully process them.

Take yesterday as a prime example for this - hence the inspiration for my post. I left my Thursday Bible study at 2:00 pm on campus and was forced with a decision of what to do. I had some good study and work to get done before my 6:30 dinner date w/the Abrahamsons and the Yamauchis. I was tired. I was feeling that urge to be 'lazy.' I was feeling a dose of apathy. Then came the spiritual battle. My mind thought of all these 'other things' I could be doing - surfing the internet, checking up on the Braves, putting shelves up in the house - things that in of themselves were not bad, but did not meet the immediate pressing need to get work done before 6. So I'm literally sitting in my car driving around having an internal discussion with myself that went something like this -

"If I go home I'm doomed. I'll either watch tv, surf the net or do some house chores that can wait. Damnit, I need to get out of the mode of retreating to home in these moments and fighting through them. I'll go to Barnes & Noble. Great. But now I'm quasi-deflated about my decisions, so I'll be tempted to buy a vanilla latte (a 'comfort food' which currently doesn't fit with my budget or diet goals) and read other books (and probably buy more that I don't need). So what the heck should I do? Come on Dave, fight it, fight it, do whats right here....."

So I am literally getting frustrated as hell at this point. And thus is the kind of thing that happens to me on days like Thursday, or during the school year - days like Monday or Friday afternoon, when I don't have appointments tieing me one place.

I felt like Jack Bauer standing looking up with camera angle spinning around him, trying to figure out what to do next (except without the weight of national security and crazy terrorists hanging over my head). This time, though, I made some critical decisons:

I am always going to have days like that if I always retreat to the comfortable.
Godliness does not involve retreat (as in surrender) into the world.
I need to remember to always follow the '2 masters':

My master schedule that I create each week that lays out the priority items in my work and when they need to get done by. It's created with flexibility in mind, but in times of crisis like this I should always do what the schedule says.
Above all else, God is my heavenly master. He has the divine plan for my life and desires for me to walk in that. Is what I'm about to do at reflective of a plan that God could have for my life.

So I went to Barnes & Noble with a fortified resolve, and despite the demons within me yelling at me to check out the new books, read a magazine, look at the music or take a nap, focused for the next several hours on the task at hand.

Awareness, when we take time to be aware, can be a really frustrating thing. I wanted to kick scream cuss, and give up all at the same time. But awareness, when addressed in the context of where God is moving us is a beautiful thing.

Take some time in the next week to truly try to be more self aware in a situation than you normally are. Look at how the actions of 8:10 am affect the situation at 3:15 pm - and maybe we'll all have a greater idea of what the heck God is up to in our lives.

Fear

2006-07-12T11:50:00.000-04:00

More Ken Ulmer. Today's chapter talked about fear, or specifically Godly fear, and how we neglect to walk in fear in our relationship with God. Before I delve into greater detail - some highlights from the chapter. They will most likely be random and somewhat disconnected to you, so if they are, I guess you'll just have to read the book!

"Like any good parent, the Father establishes his sufficiency by responding to our needs. However, sufficiency alone is inadequate to ensure the safe, healthy development of His offspring. If we are driven soley by our needs, then Satan can and will provide any number of alternate sources to meet those needs, every one of them guaranteed to move us further away from God."

Wow, that one is fairly convicting. How easy is it for us, for me, to be driven by my needs, not by my need for God? Without having a healthy fear of God, though, how can we ever truly be driven soley by our need for God when our worldy needs are seemingly so much more appealing?

"When a child misbehaves, how do you punish that child? ...you want the pain of the punishment to correct the misbehavior.... A good parent disciplines his or her child. Will God discipline us? Yes. Will it hurt? Sometimes. But consider the alternative put forth in Hebrews 12:8.... If you're acting up and God's not disciplining you, you'd better check to see if you're His child, because parents only discipline their own children. As believers, we don't live in fear of God's judgement. But we should be very concerned with the correcting rod of His discipline."

A well-put and convicting look at God's 'wrath' or his judgement, I think. I've long thought about this idea of living in fear of God and how we do that whilst living a "full life" as Jesus talks about. I think, though, that the breakdown occurs when we live 'in fear of God's judgement' as Ulmer said. THIS is where I think so many Christ followers today find themselves living what I call the Gospel of Suck. You know these folks, life is always tough and they are driven by their guilt. If we live a life that is concerned w/the correcting rod, however, then I think we begin to approach situations by asking questions like - 'What am I doing to God by doing this?' or 'What does this say about what I think about God?'

And finally - "Everything that God wants you to be starts with your fearing Him.....Telling God that He's wonderful and powerful is not fearing Him. To consider your conduct in light of how wonderful and powerful He is - now, that's fearing Him."

I think that hits the mark right there for me. Ever sit around and think about your life and wonder why you're the same person in many respects that you were 5, 10, 15 years ago? Why you can't 'get over' some of the lifestyle issues, personality quirks, addictions or obessions that you've been trying to for years? I do. A lot. Maybe it's because God wants ME to be something better, someone more Godly, but he can't let me be those things until I conduct my life in those specific ares in light how who He is.
I think this gets right to the heart of the idea that we can't live individual faith lives that we have to go deeper, with God, with others, and with ourselves. We have to conduct our lives in response to what God has done for us and what he wants to do in us - not have the 'get my house in order first' mentality that is SO easy to adopt.

Religiosity....

2006-07-12T00:44:00.000-04:00

This is a term that bites at me. Especially in the South. "Religion" assumes you are 'expected' to do certain things: go to church; read the Bible; pray; be a great spuse; ask for a blessing before a meal......

Sure we do those things, but should we be bound by those things? Do those very things define who we are as a person....or more importantly as a person of God?

As I learn more and more about a) my own self and my own faith, and b) about the culture of the south (and to an extent the rural midwest where I was raised) these are the questions I continue to ask myself and those around me.

As we strive to become men and women who truly and throughly believe that Jesus came so that we "may have life and have it to the full," (John 10:10) I belive it's important that we first answer this question of religiousity.

I'm reading a great book currently that has served as the inspiration behind the blog title, et al. In "Spiritually Fit to Run the Race," Bishop Ken Ulmer describes lays out what Godly living looks like. He describes it in a way that I hadn't quite thought of before.

I have thought for quite some time that the phrases 'he's religious' or 'she's spiritual' just don't cut it for me anymore. Because everyone - it seems in the South especially - is 'religious' and many people call themselves 'spiritual.'

But how many of us are truly Godly? And what does Godliness look like in our lives?

Check back for more as I learn more.

First Post...

2006-07-12T00:20:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'll join the revolution. Not so much just for you, but also for myself. See, I have always been a 'journalist'- my conecntration, hobby and employment in high school and college - but seem to have left that part of me behind.

So this is for ME, but if you get something out of it - great, because you know what? Somewhere, deep down inside, whether you admit it or not, you are 'not so religious' afterall......

Religiosity....

2006-07-11T11:45:00.000-04:00

My first true attempt to share what's going on in my head. This is mainly for me, but hey if it interests you - please check back daily!