People Pleasing & Other Randomness...

Catalyst Labs are in the books. Below are some random notes from that experience as well as other oddities of life.

1) Iiits baack. Yes, I have 25 more gray hairs and am slightly more insane than before, but the Dellie is back w/its caring owner a mere 25 days after sending to Memphis (apparently via India). Check back to see how the return of the Dell affects my peace, serenity and lack of need to be 'connected.'

2) The ATL has long been described as my favorite big city that I've spent significant time in. It's value is dropping this week, however, as I have wasted about 2:45 minutes of my life essentially driving in circles in the last day and a half. Turns out every other street is named Peachtree (I knew this), most of them change names 2-4 times and change directions (some even go in circles). I was not expecting Atlanta to be basically a more confusing version of the Triangle, but there you go.

3) It's 2:30 in the morning and I have spent the last 35 minutes trying to figure out where the damn water leak is coming from in my hotel room (a 2 bedroom Residence Inn suite). Turns out it's my colleage Ray's noise maker in the living room. Great, glad I have those 35 minutes back! Guess that's why he's on the pullout!

Now too the good stuff........

Had an interesting conversation with a great friend who is in his first year of mergers & acquisitions for a large bank on Tuesday. It pulled together a lot of what i've been thinking lately and was furthered by some Catalytic comments during today's Labs. We were discussing this idea of being people pleasers and how many people in his profession are so and have had great success in college because of this. When you get to the dog-eat-dog m&a world of finance, though, you quickly find out your people pleasing desires are challenged. Because you could do your absolute best to please the people around and above you - and still be no better than a marginal analyst.

My friend was very quickly learning in his raw 5 months out of school that we cannot count on the affirmation of others to determine our success. 100 hour weeks full of no compliments only backlash when you screw up has driven him to prayer and humilty like never before - he is quickly learning that our best chance at peace lies in giving it all you have and leaving it at the feet of Jesus: nothing more, nothing less.

Oh that we wouldn't have to work in a pressure cooker like that to realize this truth for ourselves. It's a problem that is increasingly common in our culture today and one that really takes good growth to emerge on the other side of.

I wonder, often, if too many good people, good ministries, and good intentions are missed because people are too overly reliant on the approval of man instead of just laying it all on the table and leaving it before God?

I have begun to see that perhaps I am beginning to fully understand this in my own life - in large part due to this blog. Over the last 4 or 5 days I've had several people (ok, like 4) tell me that they really enjoy reading this and that it encourages them in their daily faith walks. In times past this would serve to bring me great pride and joy that people actually approved of and appreciated what I am thinking. In other times it would utterly unfaze me in the opposite sense - the "I don't care about you so why do you care about us" sense.
But it's amazing how you find Jesus in the middle of these extremes - that the comments were nice and appreciated, but they don't MAKE this blog any more or less successful. Because, honestly, I'm not doing it for you, but for God. And perhaps for myself as well, as a means to get out what I'm thinking without succumbing to the traditional Christian torture we call 'journaling.'

I think this exercise is a microcosm of where God is moving me. I no longer need the approval of man in my ministry, in what I'm thinking or dreaming about, or in my social interactions. Sure that is nice, but it's no longer necessary. Because I'm moving to a place that as Craig Groeschel describes in his book Chazown, is defined by deo pnuema - or a compelling of fresh air by the Spirit. I'm beginning to fully understand what it means that Jesus is a lamp unto our feet - that he doesn't give us the full picture, just enough to get us the next couple steps. And if we're not seeking the approval of man but God, then we must be OK with this because if he truly is for us, then who, really, can be against us?

I'm sure all of this will make much more sense at a later point in time, as I am realizing that 3am is no time to be posting clear and lucid thoughts. So perhaps I'll revisit at another point, and maybe strike the clarity that hit me about 5 times over the head in the last 24 hours as I listened to my friend in Charlotte, a couple different Christian leaders in the car ride to Atlanta, and the encouraging words of leaders like Groeschel, Rick McKinley & Eugene Peterson at Catalyst.

But for now I should rest. Check back for more insights into Catalyst over the next few days. Our hotel serves free full-service breakfast, dinner, wine and beer - so at the least we'll be well nourished physically as we are mentally and spiritually. Although, if the wine and beer are being served with breakfast things could get interesting.....